One year on...

Its been a while because life has been just that little too hectic but managed to grab a weeks holiday and never slept and chilled more in my life!

The last year has flown by like I could never have imagined, from my first day in the office and my first beer with my now great group of mates things have just slotted into place.

I've had to slow down the pace of mischief as the pace of work has increased exponentially, but that has brought its own rewards, still cant believe I'm doing the job i do and will never get used to having a new challenge every single day (there is no rest for the wicked) and most of all I'm not sure I'll ever get used to being someones boss, you won't believe it but I'm too soft on people, but slowly and surely i think I'm getting the hang of it (at least i haven't fucked up yet).

Mischief has been reserved for the odd random night (which can be every night in Singapore but I'm learning moderation!) Seem to have more luck with 28 year olds and married men, I'm obviously trying to pursue the former more than the later!!!

Weekends away have been a plenty, scuba diving on tiny islands off Malaysia and Bali, and taking visitors to Malaka, Bangkok and now Phuket. Currently chilling in Phuket with Clare, Rohan and her mum and dad. We've rode elephants and tuk tuk's, ate amazing thai food and relaxed on white sandy beaches. So happy to be sharing this time with Clare and Rohan .... and looking forward to whomever visits next ... any takers????

Back to work next week and got a very busy time ahead, conferences in Kuala Lumpar, work trips to Hong Kong and Bangkok and the inevitable influx of London underwriters and brokers in November; November will be a blur of hangovers and indigestion!

Miss you all
Rouge x

Going local

I decided to go local this weekend, no taxis, no late night drinking, no fancy restaurants. It began with my taxi driver on Friday night. He was a self proclaimed rich uncle (out of respect you call older mean and women uncle or auntie) who only drove a taxi so that he could counsel people. He gave me a very nice lecture about life and Manchester United and as he dropped me off at my local hawker centre gave me his best heartfelt advice "ask the price, can, lah?" I responded dutifully "thank you uncle, can, lah" and paid my over priced taxi fare, which I think was partly a fee for the advice and mostly because he'd taken me the longest way home possible (a common problem for ang moh's, but sometimes it's not worth the argument). So I went to stall 76, as recommended by my friend, and began the ritual dance of ang moh versus hawker stall man, "sit in or take away, lah?", "takeaway, can?", "you no want to sit in", "no thank you uncle, takeaway, can?", "can, lah". First hurdle over ... "you want lobster", "you want oyster", "you want sea bass", the list of the most expensive dishes is endless, I went for a bowl of noodles that cost £3 and he took my order with a very sour face. I purchased a can of lager from the drinks counter and waited for my food. I have to say that it is hilarious watching hundreds of little Chinese men and women all wearing oversized yellow Wellington boots and dirty aprons beaver away ineffectually in a hawker centre, somehow it all works but I haven't managed to work out how. I received my noodles in a polysytrene box, and walked home to enjoy my dinner with my can of lager on my balcony. The next day I decided to take a bus to Chinatown. I was partly looking forward to walking around the area with the lead up to Chinese New Year but also knew it was going to be a scary place for an ang moh. Thousands of aunties and uncles buying cheap tat for the New Year celebrations whilst walking around with bag fulls of Durian (the worst smelling fruit you could ever imagine, in fact the worst smelling thing you could ever imagine) and all with one common trait ... Kiasu. Kiasu literally translates into "to be scared to lose", in practical terms this means to push, shove, barge, elbow, kneecap, hit with umbrellas and handbags and tut a lot, in order to get anything or anywhere first. Imagine you are stood looking at a display case of something, they will stand right in front of you without even a glance backwards, imagine you are about to pick up a dress to examine, they will grab it out of your hand, imagine you've queued for 20 mins to get a bus, they will crack you on the kneecaps with their umbrella to get on the bus first...and I'm not exaggerating. I'm pleased to say that I find most of this amusing (although I think the comedy value will wear off eventually) and I happily paid over the odds for my Chinese influenced presents for people back home and elbowed my way back through the uncles and aunties to the bus stop. My next stop was a furniture store, which had been recommended for Asian influenced furniture that didn't look like it belonged in a takeaway joint in Essex. I have to say that it does have lovely furniture and I have put a deposit down on a handmade four poster bed, which you can all sleep in if you come to visit, but the most interesting thing I learnt is that even Asian people realise that they are shorter than the rest of us...their beds are 10 cms shorter than ours. I opted for a European size bed so have to pay for a bespoke mattress but I'm still holding out hope that I might find a suitable Caucasian suitor out here so figured I should go for the extra 10 cms leg room. After that I pushed, barged and knee capped my way onto my bus home and made myself a delightful Vietnamese lemongrass stir fry, which probably cost me 10 times what it would have at my local hawker centre but I didn't have the energy to out wit the hawker uncle yet again. So today I had a hair appointment, it should have been a pleasant relaxing affair, but no. Everywhere in Singapore shares communal toilets, if you go for a drink in a bar the toilet is normally in the under ground car park, if you eat in a restaurant in a shopping centre the toilet is normally down the back stairs (in the carpark), and unsurprinsly I guess the toilets for the hairdressers are the same. Now don't get me wrong I go to a very nice hairdressers in a very nice shopping mall and the communal toilets are actually very nice but I still don't fancy walking around a shopping mall in a gown with a head full of bleach and my hair appointment takes 4 hours! I've never left such a small tip for my hairdresser but I'm hoping he understands that it was either grab the first note in my wallet and run or wet myself. Feeling a lot more comfortable I headed for the tube. I then turned into a criminal...seriously, I committed a criminal offence in Singapore, and one that is considered very grave here. I knowingly travelled on the tube without paying my fare. In my defence I tried to pay but my travel card kept flashing red. I was at Orchard tube station which is like Oxford Circus on the first day of the sales, I waited for 20mins to scan my card at a machine, which said all was fine, there were no intendants in sight, so I pushed behind a crippled uncle to get through the barriers without paying. In the long run it didn't pay off, as I still had to deal with infinite numbers of Kiasu focused tube commuters (I think I have a bruised rib) and my card still wouldn't work to let me out....fortunately the 'stupid ang moh' look worked and I got away with paying my 70cent fare and quickly walked home in the midday sun (only mad dogs and Englishman) to a very welcome glass of wine on my balcony. So in conclusion, always listen to uncles, elbows out when getting on public transport and pull short men unless you want to buy a bespoke mattress, oh and 'dumb blonde ang moh' seems to work here too! Kx

One stuffed bird!

So Christmas in a hot country....does not feel like Christmas, but I have still had the most amazing few days!!! Singaporeans don't drink and they don't do mince pies so last day in the office was a bit of a wet squib to be honest, we force fed them some bucks fizz but the day was all a bit ordinary, other than my santas little helper trip to Lloyds. I am now a minor celebrity in Lloyds Singapore having donned a Santa hat and a sack of chocolates and visited every office singing Ho Ho Ho, they all think I'm mad, but I think the sentiment was appreciated. After work I popped to a little French bar to catch up with my secret crush and a few mates and got successfully rained in, therefore forced to continue drinking until 3am (technically I think it had stopped raining at 6pm but why let that spoil a good story), the night was a bit of a blur of Christmas cheer and cheese platters but I know I was drinking red wine because I woke up with streaks all down my legs, then recalled wearing a glass courtesy of an over zealous Christmas jesture from a friend. So woke up with a very unwarranted hangover (it wasn't my fault it was raining and my road was flooded!), spent the day with the rest of the masses searching for last minute secret Santa pressies...decided I couldn't play the 'run over the Singaporean' game with such a bad hangover so i bought myself the most amazing sparkly shoes and went for a manicure and a massage. Having recovered, the amazing sparkly shoes and I went for cocktails overlooking the Singaporen skyline at a friends house party and so the next morning started off in a similar fashion.... Woke up with a hangover (warranted on this occasion I admit) realised it was Christmas day, so called a friend and went round with champagne and coffee, it was felt that both were required to get into the Christmas spirit and cope with the day ahead. Then proceeded to spend the day with 16 very lovely friends, a full christmas spread, a lot of champagne and a swimming pool...had an amazing day, and laughed until my sides hurt. You know how this works by now....woke up with a hangover, called a friend who was equally distraught about not having bubble and squeak on boxing day, so we went for an amazing alacarte meal and bottle of wine...we didnt know anywhere that would do bubble and squeak! And now, unlike all you lovely peopl at home who have tomorrow off, I will have to drag this hangover into the office tomorrow, so some sympathy please..... Miss you all incredibly, I am having so much fun but it's not the same, it really isn't. Merry merry Christmas! Rouge x

A week of two halves

What an exhausting week! Came down with a stomach bug on Wednesday. Under normal circumstances, by which I mean Singaporean circumstumstances, that would mean a trip to the medical centre, a bag of prescription drugs that would make any heroine addict happy and signing off MC (that's sick leave out here), but I'm British and like to suffer, not to mention that it was the christmas party on thursday and jaeger bomb night in Mogambos on Saturday, so I think I may have found a new cure for stomach upsets....partying till 3am on a concoction of vodka, Martell, sweet green tea, karaoke and jaeger bombs. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it but it's Sunday and I'm still alive to tell the tale and a whole lot thinner as a result! Having said that, today has been a total wash out....literally. Planned to actually do something decent with my day and visit the botanical gardens, and I decided to do it by public transport. It was a typical grey drizzly afternoon but I had my umbrella, figured I'd be fine...! Waiting for the bus and the sky dumped enough water to wash Bangkok away again. So I scrapped that idea and got the tube to Orchard for some shopping. Brilliant...finished my crimbo shopping list off, got a few bits for the house, had a spot of hawker grub and went to get a taxi...oh dear god, I've never seen a queue like it, coupled by the fact that taxis turn into the Scarlett pimpernel when it rains (very annoying when it's the bloody monsoon season!) I decided to take the public transport option again. Fine....until it came to walking home from the tube station. Just like taxis go into hiding when it rains, Singapore seems to lack certain levels of common sense...I'd been given paper carrier bags! So juggling an umbrella, heaving paper bags of goodies, whilst wearing a not so cleverly thought out outfit of white linen trousers and flip flops I make my move into the tropical rain storm, I lasted all of 5 mins before the first sodden bag broke, I slipped on some leaves and so the journey went on! But next week is Christams week and with the stomach bug behind me I say Ho Ho Ho...wish I was with you all to celebrate! I will be in spirit (vodka, Martell and jaeger bombs probably) Rouge x